W

hen rain ruins the game or a rule feels unfair, kids often rage against it. The frustration is real—but so is the waste. Pushing against what can’t be altered drains energy that could be spent adapting. The Stoics saw this clearly: strength begins with recognizing what we can and cannot control. Resilience isn’t giving up—it’s the clarity to redirect effort wisely. A powerful question to ask in these moments is, “What can you control here?” It pulls the mind away from helplessness and turns emotion into motion.

One stormy Saturday, my son sat slumped on the couch, glaring at the sky that had cancelled our picnic. I sat beside him and asked, “Want to come up with Plan B?” He sighed. “I guess… maybe a board game?” We set up Monopoly. By the second round, he was laughing, re-engaged. A few days later, when a school event got delayed, he didn’t sulk—he offered a new plan. That shift didn’t happen by accident. He’d learned that circumstances might block one path, but they don’t have to end the journey.

When things go sideways, pause with your child. Sit with the disappointment, but don’t let it settle in. Ask what might come next. Maybe it’s a change in activity, or a rethinking of what matters that day. You don’t need to fix everything—you just need to help them redirect. That practice, done often, becomes something more than a coping trick. It’s a form of clarity: a habit of spending energy where it counts, and releasing what’s beyond their reach. That’s where real steadiness begins.

TIPS

• Acknowledge the setback before shifting forward
• Ask for input—don’t dictate next steps
• Celebrate the pivot, not just the recovery

ACTIVITIES

• Control Shift: When plans fall apart, ask “What can you control here?” and brainstorm together
• Option Flip: Write down two backup plans for a favorite activity—review them when the first fails
• Momentum Map: After a disruption, track what helped get the day back on track